A really bitter cold wind snapped at my hands while I pulled my gloves on. I walked quickly down the alley and headed out to the lake to watch the first sun rise of the new year. Seemed like it took forever, but it finally did rise, over Foster Beach, around 7:25 a.m. CST and was worth the effort it took to haul myself out of bed. A brilliant orange patch poked through clouds. I thought about all of those resolutions that I silently made to myself a few hours earlier. Do they even count if you don’t tell anyone about them? I’m not real big on new year resolutions, never have been, but I thought I’d give it a try this time around. Maybe this year would be different.
Be more thankful for what I have; be more happy overall; be less bitter; be a better father; a better partner. These and more kept rolling through my head. Are these real resolutions, or just some vague aspirational notions? Have I ever kept any resolutions made in past years? Do I even remember any resolutions made? If made, have I ever even remembered them past January? Do they even count?
A friend asked me last year at this time if I had made any resolutions. I don’t even remember what I answered. I guess that in itself was the answer. If I couldn’t remember any resolutions, than I likely didn’t make any, or at least any worth remembering. More orange sun shone through; more brilliance; still many clouds, but brighter.
More thankful for what I have; more grateful and happy overall. Dump the bitterness – that stuff will eat away at you, as my dad used to say. Be a better father, a better partner. More brightness, and now I was freezing standing out there along the lakefront. I’m thankful, happy, and grateful to be the father to a wonderful daughter, who teaches me something each day and who still thinks I’m cool since she is so very young. She makes me want to be a better dad. I’ve got a great family, who make me what to be a better part of it.
I wasn’t too sad to see 2010 fade away. But what would 2011 bring? Would it be a better year? Really? I took a long look at the sky getting brighter, and worried about this new year, and wondered at what it might bring. Thankful, happy, grateful, better, better, better. My resolutions.